We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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