...so i touched it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
