why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
