so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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