She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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