You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
