i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
