It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
