Your tits are I can't wait for
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
