Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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