it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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