She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
