for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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