anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
