he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
