How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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