He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
