Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
