i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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