i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
