fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You can't motorboat a personality
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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