We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
