Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
