I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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