God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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