Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
