i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
