you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is my gift to your gina
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
