grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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