Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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