For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
