i wish my penis had a tongue
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
