Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
