We won't sleep together?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
