He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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