Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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