the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
