She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
