IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
