shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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