there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
