"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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