She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
