why im i the only drunk person in the library?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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