sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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