so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize