I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My vagina is officially offended.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
