Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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