Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
