I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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