So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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